that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
