End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize