Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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