I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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