You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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