All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
