I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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