i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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