Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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