Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
