You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize