my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
