things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize