lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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