we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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