Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
