I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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