she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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