I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
