I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
