just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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