it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
