ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
NoShamevember. You game?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
