the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
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Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
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I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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