I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
