dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
