what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
