Apparently you make a good broom.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize