My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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