Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
