i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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