So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
