I'm eating all of the evidence.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
