Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
