but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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