hotel room ftw
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
