My cat gives me a boner
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize