I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
