its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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