Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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