I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
