he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
