tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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