I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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