Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me đ
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
My boss couldnât find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. Iâm very much okay with this
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