You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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