If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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