my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize