I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
