I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
