Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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