she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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