apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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