i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
