similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
