Screwed.edu
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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