I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
