some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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