he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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